grateful

well, I can't say it's coincidence or not, but in my next IBT (Internet-Based TOEFL), I have to get excellent mark for my writing, higher than other part of the test. Well, eventhough I don't write here often, but at least it helps me to sharpen my writing skill. XP

I was sick 2 days ago, I couldn't sleep all night. I tried to sleep from 1-6 am and then I gave up, I told my dad that I wanted to go to hospital. I couldn't take the pain for any longer. It's hard for me to step the stairs and to walk to the doctor's house is another pain for me.

My heart said, "God help, God help, I couldn't stand this anymore, heal me, O, God!"

I know that God would heal me, but it needs time.

After I went back from the doctor's house, I continued my "sick journey" to Grand Indonesia, chessecake factory, having fun with my friends. I really want to forget about my sickness and go somewhere exciting.

I went home and I slept for 14 hours.

I woke up and I stepped on the same stairs and I was so surprised, I have been healed.

Well, I feel grateful at that time, very grateful to be healed by such sickness in instant.

I was thinking, yeah, people rarely feel grateful if they are in a hard situation.

There were no thought in my mind to be grateful to God for my sickness

so ashame that I see Job's gratefulness when he was in the hardest situation

People tend to complain more than be grateful

because the main point is still the same, you're focusing in yourself

When I was sick, I only thought about how can I be cured, so I pray to God

I didn't thank Him for me being sick but still having money to go to doctor and get the medicine

I didn't thank Him for me being sick and doesn't have any responsibility to do

well, it's only one case that I know and I realized

I have to be more sensitive to see this life, how I should be grateful for who I am and for who He is, so that I can be more humble

=D

my life is my life

I've thought some time in my life how bad my life is

to be compared with someone with more comfortable life

they can afford anything in this world

like their money won't be run out

or comparing with another family who has a christian background life

so it'll make them easier to go to church together, doesn't have to sneak just to go there

yea, I've been thinking about that and nothing's change

of course, why should I think about that

I have my own life

These days, I learned how to be grateful for my life

God has given me this hard life because He has a big plan in my life so that I can overcome it

so that I can learn many thing, so that I can rely on Him all the time, so that I can be grateful, because He loves me

to compare your life with other's life means that you're living in selfish life

you're focusing on yourself

you want your life to be better

envious

Luke 15:25-32
"Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'

"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'

"My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.

but now, I realize that God really loves me, He put me in the position so that I can be used. He knows my capacity, the way I think and how would I act before I was born and He never got mistaken.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

-Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus-