RELY

It's been a week since I accomplished my work outside the city

I remember very well how I was so afraid to start the job

The first thing I was about to do is looking for a substitution for me, another person who is more capable in doing the job

I doubt myself

I told myself that I couldn't do it

but my own laziness led me to the job myself

I ended up saying "yes" to it

The first task was not really hard, to find companies from the internet, look up their profile and note their address and telephone number

It was easy since I have done it a lot in my university life

but.... the second one

I have to call each of it and make a fixed schedule, from estimating time and conform with all the companies

sounds easy right? how about if I said they all speak Chinese?

my biggest fear since I stepped on this land of Panda

Some of them can understand my Chinese and some of them was struggling to understand

and again my mind said no, I refused to say I can do it

and then came the time when I have to go to the company myself to talk with the managers

the good thing was I could see the field I'm about to work on

the bad thing was only 20% that I could understand

turned me down really bad

Finally the company representatives came and the journey began

cold sweat, shaking, trembling

I used to talked without any other presence, and now I have to translate with the boss' presence

I screwed up few times but most of the times I could translate it well

I lost on the read a few times but finally I can find a way to the companies

I told God I couldn't do it, I was so afraid and almost gave up many times

but he soothed me by saying, "RELY ON ME"

I don't know how far I can do, I don't know what is His plan in my life

When all I can see is darkness, He opened my eyes and helped me through the harsh road

That's what some of us may miss

there are opportunities ahead of us

it's free and the result is worthless, what money can't buy

we felt that we can't we can't and we can't because we're not that good

listen!

no one can calculate their own capabilities

we're so limited, even to know ourselves is so that limited

and only the one who gave the opportunity knows

and we only have to rely on Him

Finally I went home after accompanied them to the airport

I brought back my first salary here and tons of experience

I said to myself that I need not all the money, the opportunity and experience are far enough for me

free expensive food, good accommodation, and extra money couldn't be compared with them

came home with a new perspective, to humble myself, not to rely myself but to rely wholly to Him

Psalm 37:5

Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you

one thing

When you pray for others, for sure there are people there who are praying for you too and God will bless you with tons of process and the key is your respond towards that