love in me VS self center

today is life group day, everyone made their own huddle group to share each other, and today I was with Lukas and Winer. Well, it's a great group because, we can speak freely speak Bahasa Indonesia!!!!! Just kidding, I wonder why I write this blog in English, but it doesn't matter.

There was a lot of experiences and thoughts that we shared. Knowing each other is a great part of my day today. It was a tired day for me after finished our evaluation meeting with team, but sharing is really a medicine to wake me up. Well, in a part of our conversation, I was thinking about God as love and He is in me. Means I'm love. How people can see God in me. We were talked a bit about it at that time. Sometimes people struggled to be more God-like, to be looked better by other people. Probably in the beggining, we have those positive thoughts to be a better man, but there's also a possibilities for us to be trapped in our own mindset and when we realized, we are already become a self-centered person. We want to looked better for our own sake, so people can value us good, not because of God they see, but because they see you.

That's why I pray, "God give me process that you want to give to me, for me to be more like you. Don't give me an instant way to achieve that, but give me a hard one. Make me more and more humble, so that you can be seen in me. Give me pure heart so that I can show people that it is you in me. I don't want them to see me pretending to be you because it will mislead them, but my longing is to see people around me to see You in the right way, so that more people will believe in You and think the same way as I am. Thanks Lord, in the name of Lord Jesus I pray, Amen.