out of the box

okay, another mind fight, a lot of thoughts, so complex, I was so confused so I couldn't think clearly.

I hate it when it comes to a day when I'm not productive, even I do nothing except facebook or tweetering about something useless.

I'm facing a problem, a problem that I always think for half of my university life.

I was so afraid to that point that I have to be brave to act and get out from it.

I have a big great enormous wall in front of me and I was challenged to go to the other side

now, the option is whether I stop thinking about it and surrender or I'm not thinking about the wall but thinking about another way to be there

That's what I was thinking, I surrendered and let it be, I'm thinking about how big and tall the wall is

It's so usual that I cannot fight my own problem and lost from it

but today I was thinking that I cannot be like this anymore

but still, what should I do

I want to ask for advices from someone, but each person that I ask was so busy and even there were who didn't even respond

but I think that's the way of Him

He didn't let me really rely on human

I was praying, at the beggining I was praying about how big the problem was and how I couldn't handle it.

I was praying so that the wall can be destroyed or moved, but I was wrong

God said to me at that time for me to pray about myself

I have to be strong so that I can beat the big wall

I was thinking out of the box at that time

I couldn't think well at that time because I was in the problem so that I couldn't observe well

so I took step back out of the box and see what could I do

1 Corrinthians 10: 13

No temptation has overtaken you that is unusual for human beings. But God is faithful, and he will not allow you to be tempted beyond your strength. Instead, along with the temptation he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to endure it.

Once again, God let me be alone so that I could be stronger, rely on Him

He wanted me to be maximize, not to pity myself and wasting time

Now I walk on the line again, knowing that God will always help me through my hardships.

Romans 8:28

And we know that for those who love God, that is, for those who are called according to his purpose, all things are working together for good.

future! part II

I've been thinking about my future these days

It's like I've prepared all the things for the next 3 years

but... it's seems okay to me.... too okay, not great or wonderful

these couple days I got something

I've been thinking about me me and me only

about my future and about what I gotta do

but is that all?

what is my purpose then?

what am I if I have done all the plan

and the worst thing, what if I didn't get what I've been planning?

TOTAL DISAPPOINTMENT

so, what have I been missing these days?

well, I've lost the God factor here

even I've been praying all night for my future to God

but, it is not right

even if I pray, I pray for myself

for my success, for my well education, for my achievement

but not for HIM

I really don't want to be disappointed if I don't get what I want

I realized that whatever I do, whatever my future will be, I surrender to him

I just give him my proposal about my future and let him correct if it's not according to His plan

I want to live the best for Him, want to be maximum but still in His path.

Romans 14:8

If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.

future!

I really love these weeks

I learned about faith, about how we have to be more faithful in our way to be more mature

and now here I am talking about my future

Well, I'm not coming from a really rich family, who can pay their child wherever they want to study

So I have to think more than them

I have a big dream, a really big dream, somehow me in the past thought that it was impossible to reach that dream

all the place that I would want to go, I thought it was all nonsense

BUT!

I was thinking about how could I reach that if myself don't believe that I will reach that

How can God give to me His blessing if I don't believe that He can give everything

Since that time, I started planning for my future, where I would study and where would I work and start my career

I was praying for my future, how I see impossibilities as something that I really believe it will be possible

I start finding information about all of that and I found many things that surprisingly might help to gain all that

Yes, that's it

you have to believe, you have to be faithful, and lastly you have to act like you will get that, and God will open the doors for you

stucked

My name is W and I stucked

I felt useless

I've been rejected all my life

I've never had so many friends

My parents hate me, they don't care about me

Now I'm here alone

My name is X and I stucked

I felt so empty

I've been partying all night but what's left for me is nothing

I hate my parents, they had never been there for me

Now I'm here in the crowd but I felt so alone

My name is Y and I stucked

I just broke up with my boyfriend

I felt so insecure

I missed his protection, his warm hands, his love towards me

but now it's all gone

Now I'm here and I think I need a new one

My name is Z and I stucked

I 've failed so many times in my life

I'm afraid to go forward even only a step

I'm a failure and I can't be success

Now I'm here and my life is over

And other story about people who stucked in their past

I, also ever felt the same way as them

felt so lost, so empty, nothing can save me at that time

you're focusing in your own life, you pity yourself

You want other too see your life as the way it is, so that they can pity on you

but what you get from that? nothing!

You are stucked and you don't want to go from it

Well, it's your problem, but for me, I want to be free from that

"Lord has come and touched my life

What am I without You here

cause You are the one

My only hope

let Your favor shine on me

Restore me to life again

restore me to even greater honour

for everything has come from You

restore my life again"

Well, I don't need people to get pity on me

The only words I care come from Him

whatever people talk about me

whatever people judge me

once again I said, " I don't care"

Whatever your past

What pain and bad memories that you have had

bring it to Him

He was there on the cross just to heal you

now it's your time to open you heart and let He recover

Take your time in solitude

hear what He wants you to be

and Step forward!

PRIDE

PRIDE is self-centered

PRIDE is arrogance

PRIDE is vanity

PRIDE is The mother of all sins

I hate pride actually, but it's in me

So, can I hate myself because of it?

I remembered telling some of my friends about how self-centered I am, but I can't actually define it. How self-centered I am, but today's sermon defined it for me. It's PRIDE.

It's not about me being proud of my country, my school, but I'm proud of myself. Sometimes people asked, what's the problem of being proud? It's not bad for being proud of yourself, but we exaggerate it. Like somehow it's because of us we gain all the things that we got and we have.

Well, pride is actually the feeling inside of us that thinks that we are the best, never want to accept other to be better than us. It's hard sometimes to be humble, to accept other to be looked better than us, but that's what God wants in our life, we are weak, we are nothing, we are less, so that He can be more. All the things that we have today, it's all because his humility so what can we proud of now?

Now look at yourself, see anything that you have till today and see how God had given you such things so that you will be humble more and more =]